meh

The hysteria is gone, but I'm drained. I'm not entirely sure what it was about (although there are three or four possible reasons), but I think I might go to the doctor's about this. If nothing else, if/when it happens again, I'll need something to take the edge off. Seriously. I have a lot more respect for people to get off drugs all at one go, since I feel like I just crashed off something big and heavy.

To console myself, however, I started planning out the shrug I've been thinking about knitting, and made a huge decision. I've decided to knit myself a sweater. I mean, I've never thought of making one up to now because I'm, well. Large. Larger than I'd like to be. But you know what, that doesn't mean I don't deserve a sweater. And hey, if the sweater turns out wrong, I can always frog the yarn out and use it for something else. I'm not sure what else I'll use nearly half a mile of yarn for, unless I suddenly get a massive yen for dozens upon dozens upon dozens of fingerless gloves, scarves or hats. Oh, well. It's all about me, and I want to make myself a sweater. I'm not sure why, but it came to me in the burnout that I should knit myself a sweater, since I've been wanting to for a while, and so I will. As if I'm not worth the effort! I'd be almost indignant if that attitude had come from someone else. I can't believe I took it from myself.

Anyway, I'm resting up, getting my protein and water and trying to get my sleep and stuff. Nieceling called and asked for someone to take her to the bookstore (!) as she had some money to spend and wanted more books. So I took her over, Mom provided some cash in case the girls (Nieceling had a friend over last night and the two wanted some new reading materials) wanted a beverage from the cafe, which they did, and which they got, and I ended up buying a copy of Mansfield Park while waiting for them to finish their drinks, and I'm actually reading it. I'm not very far along, only up to page 26 of my copy, but it's surprisingly readable. Which is a first, for me, to find a book pre-1975 readable. I'll work it as long as I can!