The past two years have been...eventful, to say the least. Being of a highly strung disposition, this has been giving me fits. Since late summer, I've been getting progressively more and more down. Not constantly, but, bouncing down and then just not rebounding as high, if you know what I mean.
I decided that until I get into the habit of yoga and puppy snuggling kicks in and improves my mood, I would get myself a HappyLight to keep the dark of winter from adding to my problems. I mean, I'm having enough problems dealing with the positive changes in my life, adding cold dark on top of it...yeah. No.
I've been using it during the week at work -- it fits nicely on my desk, you see. I haven't thought much of it, to be honest. I've been holding pat on the whole "getting depressed" thing, thought maybe I had just found a plateau to sit on.
Then I forgot to turn it on yesterday morning.
Holy Bob, y'all. On a scale of 1 to 10, where 10 is Rex snuggled up in my furry blanket, curled up on Mom's lap, practically purring in canine Nirvana, and 1 is being completely ennervated into a soggy lump by existential despair, I was somewhere around a 3 (barely functional, weepy, wired and tense from near panic attack levels of anxiety). It was horrible. I could hardly wait to get to work this morning just so I could turn on that stupid light box.
And it works, just in case you wondered. I feel way, way, way better tonight. Praise Bob.
Although getting some knitting in may have helped, too. I worked my old desk today, for a couple of hours. I had a nice big window in front of me, music, an obvious heater at my feet...and my yarn.
I am, by the way, working on a new pattern. It's pretty basic, but I'll cut people in on it. I want to get back to designing in my off hours. I'm tired of not doing anything more strenuous than watching tv. I also need to get back to making myself dinner, with like vegetable and vitamins and stuff. All these changes, all the dark and gloomy, wet weather have apparently really been bringing me down.
But I have HappyLight now. And I felt good enough today to take the dog for a walk, so I'm hopeful that I'l be feeling good enough to make decent meals, which will help me feel better as well, and it will become a positive habit spiral that will get me out of the negative spiral I've been heading into.
I love you, HappyLight!