Wednesday, April 25, 2012


Before I write this post, I just want to say, I'd anticipated writing that I'd tried this cure, it sucked and was the worst idea ever, that the weirdos online who pimp it out are insane, should be horse-whipped for making the suggestion and ridden out of town on rails.

That was what I anticipated. What happened...well.

I have reflux. Only, in my case, the problem isn't that my stomach produces too much acid, so much as when I'm stressed out it squeezes itself so tightly that the acid (and anything else that happens to be in there at the time) is pushed up into my esophagus. I guess that top sphincter isn't quite as airtight as my yarntainer.

Since it's not really heartburn, I don't feel it. At least, I don't feel it as pain -- I get headaches, a runny nose and cough. Until the reflux irritates the esophagus so much that it then irritates the vagus nerve -- which irritates my heart, giving me palpitations and making my heart skip beats. Sound familiar?

So yesterday I was doing research on others with this condition and came upon a weird treatment: olive oil and lemon juice. Two tablespoons of the former, a splash of the latter. Just...pound it, like a shot of something you'd want to drink. I thought this sounded insane, like a recipe for more pain and aggravation. Oil and an acid? Who thought that was a good idea?

I laughed about this to my friend, who is herself suffering from a stomach at present (and a gallbladder, which is aggravating her stomach), and she said she'd read the same thing for people suffering from gallbladder troubles. I said I'd try anything if it stopped the stupid palpitations and skipped heart beats, so she gets her uber-high quality, extra virgin, fair traded and grown on family farms in Palestine olive oil and tells me to try it.

I can't resist a dare, so I did it. No lie, it's like drinking your own room temperature spit, but it works. Like heck and darn that shit works. My stomach felt like it was lined with lead, and I was belching EVOO, but that's an improvement over belching fire. I took two doses this morning, and tonight I actually ate dinner and have had only a handful of skipped beats (usually when I forget myself and slouch) and no palpitations.

Dear God, who'd have thought it? Olive oil and lemon juice. Color me boggled.

I will do two shots a day for the next week. Hopefully, that will help my poor inflamed nerve settle properly. Poor, poor vagus nerve, it just wants to do its job and be left in peace, and look how badly I treat it!

It's a nasty cure, to be certain, but I think I deserve it for the shabby way I treat myself sometimes. Stress, poor eating habits, ignoring the headaches and runny nose... I deserve the oil and lemon. And probably a good flogging, besides.

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