I did something today that I'd said I wouldn't do this year.
It followed me home, can I keep it?
Actually, it followed me home after I dropped a ten and change for it, so I'm gonna keep it.
Look at the pretty! The colors are a bit washed out, it's actually a little more green--sort of a fresh spring peridot green, actually. I found out by looking on the Classic Elite Yarns website that it's called 'Sunlit Grotto', which sounds rather dirtier than it should. If you click on the link to Classic Elite, the top picture is my color, and it shows closer to true than my pictures do. I guess Classic Elite has a photographer with a better camera than I've got.
I had an hour between my volunteer commitments today, and made the mistake of dropping in to my LYS 'just to look.' Just to look. Yeah, right. I'm amazed I didn't try to sell myself a bridge at the same time!
Still and all, I kept myself under control--I only got the one ball of yarn. 460 yards of alpaca/silk lace goodness to play with and hug and squeeze and love. And then I get to knit with it!
I kid. I will get pervy on it after it's knitted as well. But I've been so restrained on the shopping for so long, that I just wanted to feel like an old-fashioned, mid-90s, consumerism crazed American, you know? I've been so cautious with my money lately I'm amazed I didn't do a serious yo-yo into spending by just...blowing the contents of my purse ($31 in cash) in the one fit of yarn gluttony, despite the fact it's destined for my gas tank. I'm rather proud I stopped at one wee ball of yarn. And it did relieve some pressure; for a few hours today I didn't feel poor. I know I am, by most standards, financially poor, but I could at least slide myself a little fiber-based treat and only have to give up my sugar-fiend beverages (oh, Starbucks, what do you put in those drinks to make them soooo addictive?!?!) for a week or two. That's not really poor, is it? If you can afford an overpriced coffee as an occasional treat, you can't be truly poor--that's just...not rich, which isn't the same thing at all.
I read a blog about simplifying your life (it's not stripping it down completely and wearing a hair shirt, really, it's about figuring out your priorities and spending accordingly) and I recall a post where he said that if you get out of the habit of buying yourself things all the time, that little buzz you get will be stronger when you do treat yourself. Hold out on taking your drug and the high goes higher, if you will. I was a bit surprised today to find out he's totally and completely right. I spent a decade spending with little to no restraint in an effort to boost my mood and all it really takes to boost your mood by shopping is making it a rare event.
Huh. Who knew (aside from that other blogger, that is)? And why didn't any of my therapists from that decade suggest meds to assist during the therapeutic process? Even with the co-pays, that would have been far more effective and waaaay cheaper than the shopping was.Then again, I probably would have refused. I guess this was a lesson I had to learn on my own in order to appreciate.
The clarity of hindsight! Why can we never enjoy it when facing forward?