Sunday, October 31, 2010

Happy New Year's! Ring a (Door)Bell!

Yes, I celebrate the harvest year's cycles. I don't like the timing of the Roman one--right in the coldest heart of winter, right before the weather takes a truly nasty turn. Blech. I'd rather start my new year in abundance and (some) warmth.

Anyway, I did not make resolutions on the Roman new year, largely because I didn't 'celebrate' it like most people I know--for instance, I've never been slobbering drunk, never gone home with a stranger because I was drunk and he was (as far as I could tell, being cross-eyed drunk) cute. Ish. Or going out, drinking a lot and then not remembering how I got home but finding a homeless person crashed through the windshield of my car. It seems a nonsense holiday to me, a party person's ode to senseless over-indulgence in preparation of some form of self-punishment.

Most of the 'self-punishment' association comes from the habit of making resolutions. There's almost an air of "Next week, I'm going on a diet/quitting smoking/cleaning up my life, so I'm going to tie it on and ride my bad habit like a pony until someone takes it away!" to it, which seems just silly to me. How often does that practice lead to anything like a lasting change? There's too much of a hangover (from overindulgence of any sort; alcohol, chocolate or cigarettes) to make a proper start of it.

So my new year's celebrations, which I decided to move on my personal calendar in order to make the difference in my mind, involve drinking several glasses of water, getting to bed early or at least on time and planning a full, nutritious breakfast so I can get a good start on the new year. Makes a bit of sense, yes? Hard to break a habit when you're broken from over indulgence the night before.

Anyway, here's my New Year's Resolutions for the next calendar year:

1. Knit from stash before adding to it. I will do a one for one exchange--I knit one ball/skein/bit of yarn/project, I can add that much more yarn. Not that I'm obliged to do so, but I can. I hope to have some breathing room at the top of my stashtainer by next new year's.

2. Knit myself a sweater. I keep talking about it, I never do it because I'm a pile of chicken excrement, but this year, I will.

3. Be braver. This covers a lot of ground, with some bullet items to indicate I'm brave. To whit:
  • Using a knitting technique I've never used before. For me, this covers cables, entrelac and crochet borders.
  • Finish up my first novel. It's going to be crap, but you have to write your first, crap novel before you can write a good one. I really need to get this one off my desk so I can get on with the good stuff.
  • Start my self-employment gears actually going. I did some hobbyist writing this summer, I need to start acting more professionally as a writer. Also I need to come up with multiple income stream sources (income springs?) and start working on those.
  • Restarting my music gears. I've already chatted with my creativity teacher about trying again at the voice lessons, only learning a new method of singing (there are several; bet you didn't know that. God knows I didn't, either,) and getting going on my piano practice.
  • Dating. I hate to add that one because it means I will actually try to add it to my calendar and the thought of dating gets me about as excited as the thought of dusting my room. But it is a means to an end, and since I want the end, I will have to suffer the means. I'm an Introverted Intuitive, we're not about the process, people. If I could just find a guy who is not physically repellant, good natured and willing to put up with me, I'd probably marry him in a heartbeat. I'm so not picky, it's unnatural.
4. Take myself more seriously, just in general. It ties into the need for professionalism. Even when I worked in an office, I wasn't very professional, and I think it's because I've never taken myself seriously. I never valued myself properly, I never thought others would, either, but now's the time to start, I suppose.

5. It's trite, but I'm going to try losing weight again. I hate to do it (mostly because it's both boring and it trips my crazy triggers, since weight loss is all about numbers and my crazy is all about numbers, too) but it's expensive to be fat. Jesus. They get you coming and going--wages for overweight people--women in particular--are lower, clothes are more expensive, insurance is more expensive, so we just don't feel the financial love anywhere.

It's pitiful. I won't lose weight for possible health benefits (I have no health negatives from my weight, sorry, and I am, technically, middle aged so I'd think I'd have one or two by now), I won't lose it for social congruence, but I will lose weight because I'm just that cheap.

I worry about my priorities.

So, tomorrow, on the first day of my new year, I have set myself a schedule. I'm kitty-sitting during the days, so I'm going up early, writing on my novel for a few hours, taking a walk in what I hope is mild warmth, working on some geneology research on my family, making religious observance to celebrate the new year (even though, technically, it's All Saints/All Souls) and then off to knit group. It will be a long day, but, I hope, a rewarding one. I may leave the geneology for later in the week, when I'm home (not at kitty house), but I'll have to see. I may just do more research on how to do my research. There are websites, you know.

And a happy, bright and blessed new year to you all!

Friday, October 29, 2010

Finally, pictures!

I've had a sucktacular month, I must admit. I'm not sure if I'm happy or not that the year (as I calculate it) is coming to an end. I mean, as years go, I've had...well, ok, I've not had a lot better, but I have had much worse. Still and all, this past month has totally discombobulated me. I've had car trouble that made me wish I could move to a city with actual, non-half-arsed public transit so I could sell my metal money pit for scrap, I have dental work that needs to be done by the end of next month and dentists will want paying with money, and I've completely lost whatever confidence I had in myself and life in general. I'm about at the end of some rope or other, although I'm not entirely sure which rope or if it's such a bad thing to be at the end of it at all. At this point, I think the only thing I can do is wait out the confusion and just keep on keepin' on. Sort of like reaching that point in white water rafting when you suddenly realize you are actually terrified of water, the ropes on the side of the boat are slippery and oars are merely decorative at that particular place in the river and all you can do is hold on to your hair and pray you don't fall overboard.

Ah, life. She is a beautiful bitch, is she not?

Anyway, here's some yarn I keep forgetting to photograph:

Some overspun mill ends obtained on clearance from KnitPicks. I bought a bag of ten of the green and ten of the yellow (I think they're olive and semolina), then I traded for some of the gray. I think I have another bag of semolina somewhere in my Cedar Box of Yarnie Goodness.

I've had this for ages. It was a skein I bought to make my $50 for free shipping. Gloss lace in Sterling. Not sure what the heck I'll do with it, but it's nice, so I'll find something.

I have lately become consumed with the idea of making myself a sweater. Then last week, my mother (the woman who constantly complains about the volume of yarn I have stored in my CBoYG) made a point of showing me the Joann's ad--the one with Lion Brand at buy one/get one half off. In the center of the lovely graphic on the front were several skeins of Fisherman's Wool, a product about which I have great curiosity. So I toddled off to console myself (after the first car repair episode) with some Fisherman's Wool for a sweater. I got three of the brown and one of the white tweed (originally I had the darker brown tweed, which had white flecks, then realized that the effect I wanted would work better if the tweed's colors were reversed.)

I have a design in mind, I know the name I'm going to use, I just have to get off my butt, do the maths and start that puppy up.

This is the picture I've been needing to take for the past three weeks--my new Malabrigo lace in Dusty Rose. I loves it, I do. I know what pattern I'm going to make with it. It will just have to marinate in cedary scent for a few months until my queue lightens up enough for me to get around to it.

It's so pretty, isn't it? The cedar chest sort of clashes as a background, but the yarn is still glowy and shimmery and beautiful.

I have such nice toys. I should take consolation in that. This past year hasn't been as good as I'd have liked, but at least I have some nice toys to play with in the new.

I'll have to come back on Monday and offer up my new year's resolutions. I never made them when I celebrated on the Roman new year, but when I started up with the harvest year cycle, I started making them again. Hmmm, I'll have to do some thinking....

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Ok, it can stop now. Any time. Seriously.

Again with the car drama. I'm really getting tired of it. Between last month and this, if my estimate holds true on the latest repairs that are needed, I will have spent well over $1,000 on car repairs and maintenance. Don't get me wrong, that's less than I spent when I made payments and he was so new the insurance payments made my wallet squeak, but still. I'm trying to save up money, here, people! That is difficult to do when everyone seems to feel they can claim a portion of it!

Breath in, breath out. Let it go.

I haven't been knitting much, I'll be honest. I'm working on a scarf that's taking for. Evaaar! and can't honestly think of another project to start up with my 'orphan' skeins (the yarn I keep in a smaller stashtainer outside the large, Cedar Box of Joy). I want some of my super bulky, for a quick project that gives me an emotional boost be getting finished and bound off fast, but all of my super bulky is in the Cedar Box of Joy, which is currently covered in sixty metric tons of Detritus of Living in One Room. Books, boxes of knitting supplies, a candy dish, some candy (I got a jumbo box of Milky Ways--biiiiig mistake, but an oh, so tasty one), a bit of yarn or two the moths won't eat and some hand lotion are the better part of my mess. At least the moths can't get into my Cedar Box of Joy--not until they breed their own power lifters. Heck, I can't get in, most days.

Oh, I could dig the box out and get into it. I'm just not feeling the motivation lately. Not feeling much motivation to do anything, really. Autumn is typically my energy season, but this autumn isn't working (yet) to power up my batteries. Bummer.

I have a few minutes before I have to leave for my baby sitting gig tonight, I could shift my crap and just...shift my crap to get some bulky weight yarn. I could take those pictures of my newest yarns I forgot to take before I shoved them into the CBoJ. Or I could write it off as a loss and have a Milky Way.

Decisions, decisions, decisions....