Saturday, October 20, 2007

Frozen

No, not my home or me, well, yes, me. I am tired of my current employement. Since no one is allowed a private life anymore, even on the web, I can't go into details because even though it's my opinion and I always state it as such, they could probably sue me. And they're just big enough...insert derrogatory comment heres to do so.

I won't insult the word Bitch by using it to describe them. Frankly, if my only choices are to be a bitch or a compliant, constantly irrationally cheerful mote of sunshine, I'll be the bitch, thank you very much.

Anyway, I never played well with others--I can scan my kindergarten report cards if you like--and job hunting is a particularly unpleasant activity for me. On top of the whole "I never get the ones I want" problem I have (both professionally and personally, but that's a post for another day), deciding to take a particular job (since I've never had a time when there was more than one from which to choose) is problematic. How do I know I'm making the right decision? Which way is the right way?

Currently, I'm online avoiding double checking my resume for a job out of state. I have a better than even chance of interviewing for this position, even though I'm probably not as qualified as others who might want it, due to who I know (heh, for once.) I don't know it's the right thing to do, to move. What if I move and the perfect opportunity opens up here? What if I move and I hate it there? What if I move and it turns out to have been the wrong choice to make?

I ruined myself by taking physics in high school. The concept of multiple realities and the billions of realities that open up at the making of each choice....it makes me freeze before the big ones (although I have no problem deciding between iced or hot mocha at Starbucks, although if I drop the hot one on my lap while driving my whole reality could change in a flash.)

Sigh. I think too much. And my cousin just walked in, and I want to talk to her about alpacas. That makes sense, it really does. Unlike most of my life.

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